Saturday, March 11, 2006

Tab Gets Trendy Makeover

Long before Diet Cherry Vanilla Chocolate Fudge soda, raspberry kiwi low-calorie gourmet sports drinks, we had Tab and its citrus counterpart Fresca. Fresca was a passable lemon-lime drink in a dimpled green bottle. Tab tasted like barely sweetened motor oil and came in a grill-patterned bottle. Chock full of cyclamates and later saccharine, the drinks were sure-fire ways to get cancer. Despite the medical warnings and the sludgey taste, Tab was my drink of choice in mid-school and jr. high. That is until the exotic Diet Dr. Pepper came along.

But now it has been reborn as an "energy drink." That's not Tab!! Tab is not an energy drink. It is not a semi-tasty beverage in a trendy, tiny can with an indefinable citrus aftertaste. What are they going to come out with next--Boysenberry/White Chocolate Space Food sticks? How about Whole wheat Quisp? Is nothing sacred?